There is nothing wrong with your computer screen. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it flutter. We can change the focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next post sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your computer screen. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to… the House of Eternal Return!
Zu-Zu Lee, Wild Er, and the flame of Udûn landed at 1352 Rufina Circle in Santa Fe, and the skies looked very different that day.
Ziggy Starbus to Ground Control: It’s gettin’ really grooovyy…
Our Mommy always told us that when the skies roared with thunder, the sky bears were going bowling… by the look of this storm, the sky bears must have gotten into Mommy’s secret stash.
Ziggy Starbus to Ground Control: We are stepping through the door
We must have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque and driven right on through the floor of the sky bears’ inter-dimensional rave house. The mezzanine level view of the stage on our left can attest to my superb parking skills.
I hope they validate parking here, I couldn’t find a meter… perhaps it got sucked in by the gravitational pull of what appears to be a pocket dimension in the floor to our right that was now our balcony.
I made a mental note to ask the lady in the lab coat.
The portal was marked by an interior ring of glyphs that we could not decipher, and we could not pass through the force-bubble to the other side, but we could make out crude dark shapes etched into the walls in style similar to that of ancient cave drawings.
We climbed back through our bus and out the back doors onto the dance floor to ask the lady in the lab coat about parking… she scribbled down some notes and brought us to this next room for testing.
We played with blocks, she took notes, we aren’t sure what that accomplished but before she could get to the anal probing an alarm sounded and all the lab coat people rushed to take care of the sort of business that lab coat wearing people must take care of in a timely fashion. We snuck a peek at the portal from the underside, realized we weren’t in Kansas anymore, and got out of there before the lab coats returned.
We weren’t the first to come through here–
Spacecrafts had landed and been left abandoned by their inhabitants,
boondockers had settled into camps more perplexing than our own parking situation,
and this guy was just chillin’
We really needed to get our heads out of the clouds…
… but that was proving rather difficult in this “Fog Space”
Well, that explains a lot.
Dorothy had landed here as well, and her welcome mat suggested she may have gotten herself a guard lizard while she skipped off to the Emerald City… or perhaps the Emerald Triangle, Dorothy mentions a brother named Lex in her letter, and a bit of digging around the house revealed Lex’s school records from an elementary school in Mendocino, California. A citation from Lex’s teacher depicts him as quite a little smartass, perhaps this is the boy that grew into Superman’s arch nemesis.
The more we saw the more we were beginning to think we may never get out…. did Lex ever get out? There were no maps, just a meandering trail of cryptic clues and swamp acrobats.
We didn’t have a Plant-Jean of our very own to get us through it, but this was the best destination on our adventure thus far, and our bus was inexplicably stuck in their floor for the time being, so we kept on adventuring down the rabbit hole through the Fog Space.
Naturally, we made ourselves at home– went through their photo albums, read their diaries, played with their Lego’s, ate the meals they so kindly left on the tables for us, napped in their beds, used their fireplace to access the Floo Network…
The Ministry of Magic really needs to make the network Myastenia Gravis accessible, I enunciated very clearly, but somehow, we ended up in the fishtank.
That opened up a whole ‘nother can of worms… if you have ever eaten the worm at the bottom of a tequila bottle, you may have some idea what this next part was like.
Entire villages had been established here in Dorothy’s closets, along with a very large skeleton from the Mesozoic Era. Tusky here must have been a friend of Hagrid’s, we played him a song and he lit up like a politically correct holiday tree.
Our new friend led us to the Magic Tree House, which took us on many wacky adventures, like the siblings Jack and Annie Smith but with much cooler names and an adorable puppy.
Mary Pope Osborne used Arthurian characters Morgan Le Fay and Merlin the Magician as the source of magic for the tree house in her illustrated series, but King Arthur hasn’t come through here yet– his sword still awaits him:
*gasp* It’s bigger on the inside!
From what we could deduce, Dorothy’s “Dad and Grandpa” were fiddling around with transdimensional engineering in the tree house. They had built some sort of “machine” that could travel through Time And Relative Dimensions In Space while maintaining a state of dimensional transcendentalism.
We enjoyed a much needed vacation on the beach, but that is a story for another time… stay tuned for more photo-adventures with Zu-Zu Lee, Wild Er, and the flame of Udûn.
As we sang our closing number, another rift in time and space began to crack open in the Denver Triangle formed by the interchanges of I-25, Colfax Avenue, and Auraria Parkway. Our timey-wimey-demodulation-doohickey was also picking up potential hot-spots in Austin, Oklahoma City, Minneapolis, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, and our nation’s capitol.
These wrinkles in time and space were marked only by mysterious appearances of the phrase “Meow Wolf” scattered like breadcrumbs in a trail across the universe.
We now return control of your computer screen to you, until next post, at an unknown time, when the Control Voice will take you to…