Movie Night!

My fellow citizens of this great country of ours:
The United Corporations of America–
Why did those pilgrims land on Plymouth rock?

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…because they needed a place to stage
the greatest pissing contest known to man!
#GoldenGate #PeeTUS #PissGate

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Thaaaat’s right race fans,
great American tradition doesn’t get any. better. than. this.
This is all about freedom–

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…the freedom to sit on your big fat ass all day and watch the single greatest sporting event known to man!

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Competition! That’s what’s made this country so great.
Welcome to… the DEATH RACE!

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Freedom’s Call

The free press is central to our democracy and– nah, I’m just kidding!
You know I’m going to talk about Trump.
Come on.


Although, I am a little hurt that he’s not here tonight.
Is this blog too tacky for the Donald? What could he possibly be doing instead?

1. Apple (aapl, -0.20%) $600,000 to $1.251 million
2. Microsoft (msft, -0.13%): $300,000 to $600,000
3. PepsiCo (pep, -0.37%) $150,000 to $350,000
4. J.P. Morgan Chase (jpm, -0.76%) : $100,000 to $251,000
5. McKesson (mck, -1.64%): $100,000 to $250,000
6. Nike (nke, -0.64%) : $100,000 to $250,000
7. Johnson and Johnson (jnj, -0.44%) : $100,000 to $250,000
8. General Electric (ge, +0.13%) : $100,000 to $250,000
9. Visa (v, +0.17%): $100,000 to $251,000
10. Gilead Sciences (gild, -0.86%) : $100,000 to $250,000
11. Celgene (celg, -1.39%) : $100,000 to $250,000
12. Phillips 66 (psx, -1.36%) : $100,000 $250,000
13. Caterpillar (cat, +0.05%) : $100,000 to $250,000
14. Alphabet (googl, -0.56%) : $100,000 to $200,000
Despite the candidate’s love of all things gold— The Donald has a relatively small holding in bullion: about $100,000 to $250,000

I don’t want to spend too much time on The Donald.
Because I think we can all agree that from the start he’s gotten the appropriate amount of coverage befitting the seriousness of his candidacy.

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Ha.
I hope you all are proud of yourselves. The guy wanted to give his hotel business a boost and now we are praying that America makes it through July.

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Mmm mmm mmn.
Hmmm.

Zu-Zu Out~

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America will start winning again, winning like never before
– Donald Trump Inauguration

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