LaRocca Lush

via Daily Prompt: Lush

her lips blushed
a LaRocca Lush
plump, juicy, and sweet
her smile dimpled
pig-nosed wrinkled
eyes twinkled
with pure delight
shied behind
a stray lock of hair
teeth pressed in
a nervous bite

her soul shined
in radiant gold
a Dionysus devotee
grape stomp beauty
draped in ecstasy
and purple toed
her windswept tassels
billowed like a horses mane
braided in grapevines
zinfandel red
cascading the curves
of her divine frame

larocca-vineyards-organic-wine

The Late Harvest Lush Zinfandel was picked in November 24, 2005, allowing the grapes to hang longer on the vine. The grapes were picked at 34.5 brix at our Sutter Buttes Vineyard. Capturing the desirable effects of the Botrytis cinerea, the “noble” rot, this wine is rich, ripe and elegant with an enormous presence of raisin and luscious flavors of chocolate and berries which makes for a delightfully sweet finish. With hints of spice and pepper the wine is not overly powerful and is referred to as an aphrodisiac that only gets better with age. This wine pairs deliciously with a rich chocolate truffle or any desserts.

LaRocca Vineyards
P.O. Box 541
12360 Doe Mill Rd
Forest Ranch, CA 95942

ccof+usda

LaRocca Vineyards Organic Wine Tasting Room
222 W. 2nd Street
Downtown Chico, California
Open Weds – Fridays 1:30-8pm
Saturdays 12 noon – 8pm
Sundays 1:30-6pm

Save

Semantics

a picture is worth 1000 words

dsc_0330
…but which words, exactly?

Before you squawk semanticist–
Give me 1000 words for this picture, compare it to the next commenters 1000 words, comment back what their words mean in your own words, and/or draw a picture based on their words. If it is easier, start with 100 words, or even just 10.

set the scene–
primarily pink
a touch of green
flecks of red
a golden gleam
indecent exposure
liquid strangers
photo sin thesis
festive pranksters
sun spot blinders
de-arranger
black & white
graffiti gray
prismacolor
acid rain
tapestry woven
in tense disdain
fornication
in obscene name
a curse, a swear
profane love
a witty dare
screamed in passion
uttered in fear
flung for fashion
a viscous sneer
focus, focus
hocus pocus
a gentle bow
in falling dew
a fuzzy fwip
a curtsied skew
spin and dip–
the leads on you
hand in hand
shoe on shoe
word for word
view for view

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


With 10 words, I have a catchy hook.
With 100 words, I can spin a verse of visual imagery, motivational complexity, and a tease of linguistic philosophy.
With 1000 words, I can bore you with semantics.

In the words of Savage Garden– a thousand words will give the reason why I don’t need you any more. By today’s standards, a quick pic of their tiny dick with a Sweet Brown meme says just as much, right?

94d74643939cd685a54ae8065ce91cd3f66a8aa727239585983bd879b07b2793

Errybody complaining that nobody “gets it” but “ain’t nobody got time” to speak out exactly what “it” is they want people to “get”

A snowball effect of colloquialisms, presumptive universalities, and logical fallacies establishes “it” as an unspoken statement of the obvious, and thus, explanation is in itself an admission of obliviousness, in which case, if one does not “get it” by simple reference, then “it” is a concept that can not be “gotten” within the context of language as they know it.

Any attempt to communicate across such a divide is labelled as semantics, met with exasperation, and widely considered to be obnoxiously exorbitant… illustrator Jeff Mallett knows what I’m talking about–

6219694_orig

Modern technology has made communication with audiences of any size at any distance as simple as the touch of a button… but with simplification of our means of communication, came simplification of content.

Ratings for this type of content are off the charts– given our rising population and the increased availability of internet connectivity, this is not so much a sign of superiority as it is a statistical inevitability.

With the dawning of the age of Aquarius came a technological boom that would come to define the Millennial generation. Marked by the coming of the new millennium, the invention of memes, and the hands of the doomsday clock ticking ever closer to midnight… this global culture-shock forged a divide that has fundamentally changed our understanding of language.

when_you_assume

They say that to “assume” makes an “ass” of “u” and “me” but we go on assuming that such assumptions apply only to the assumed target of the phrase, while the assumer is exonerated by… perception of moral superiority?

When I say that is a contradiction, I am arguing semantics.
But it isn’t just semantics, being a particular word choice, it is the very semantics of logic itself… a concept that is discussed below in British context, whilst poignantly absent in the American understanding of the word.

You may question if it is really necessary to cite not one, not two, but three dictionaries just to make this here point about semantics…

a88e8bc6a5f81437fba79b7171bac0a2

If these 1000 words are not adequate enough to stress the necessity of expressly establishing common terminology within the context of a conversation for the purpose of mutual understanding across language barriers, perhaps that meme will suffice.


dictionary_splash_medium

semantics

 [si-man-tiks]

noun

(used with a singular verb)



1.
Linguistics.

  1. the study of meaning.
  2. the study of linguistic development by classifying and examining changes in meaning and form.
2. Also called significs. the branch of semiotics dealing with the relations between signs and what they denote.

3. the meaning, or an interpretation of the meaning, of a word, sign, sentence, etc: “let’s not argue about semantics.”

British Dictionary definitions for semantics

semantics

/sɪˈmæntɪks/

noun (functioning as sing)

1. the branch of linguistics that deals with the study of meaning, changes in meaning, and the principles that govern the relationship between sentences or words and their meanings
2. the study of the relationships between signs and symbols and what they represent

3. (logic)

  1. the study of interpretations of a formal theory
  2. the study of the relationship between the structure of a theory and its subject matter
  3. (of a formal theory) the principles that determine the truth or falsehood of sentences within the theory, and the references of its terms
Derived Forms
semanticist, noun

Word Origin and History for semantics

n. “science of meaning in language,” 1893, from French sémantique (1883); see semantic (also see -ics ). Replaced semasiology (1847), from German Semasiologie (1829), from Greek semasia “signification, meaning.”

mw_logo

semantics


Definition of semantics

  1. the study of meanings
    a: the historical and psychological study and the classification of changes in the signification of words or forms viewed as factors in linguistic development
    b (1):semiotics (2): a branch of semiotics dealing with the relations between signs and what they refer to and including theories of denotation, extension, naming, and truth

  2. general semantics

  3. a: the meaning or relationship of meanings of a sign or set of signs; especially:connotative meaning
    b: the language used (as in advertising or political propaganda ) to achieve a desired effect on an audience especially through the use of words with novel or dual meanings

oxford2bdictionary2bof2benglish2bpremium2b5-1-0562bapk2bfor2bandroid2bdownload2b252812529

semantics

plural noun


1 [usually treated as singular] The branch of linguistics and logic concerned with meaning. The two main areas are logical semantics, concerned with matters such as sense and reference and presupposition and implication, and lexical semantics, concerned with the analysis of word meanings and relations between them.
1.1 The meaning of a word, phrase, or text

Save

Ba baa black sheep have you any wool?
Brush here, shear there, ne’er a bag full… 

handwriting-example-baa-baa

That sheep ain’t no Dalai Lama– girl, yoe must be a glutton for for an ass-whoopin’ keepin’ that ewe round here!

This was one piece of mutton long past its expiration date, with a comb-over rivaled only by The Donald himself, and a disproportionately sized tongue lolling out its mouth.

Dolly was an old ewe, she had certainly sheered better days… but the little boy who lived down the lane, turned his nose to ordinary wool, white and plain.

Master demands a bag per day, and a second for the Dame. You know what happens when their coats grow lame.

Ewwwwe, not stew! Not Dolly!

Hush! Not a peep from you or the ewe– I have a plan:

Knight, Bruce I. “Animal Cloning: Transitioning from the Lab to the Market.” USDA. March 5, 2008. https://www.aphis.usda.gov/newsroom/speeches/content/2008/03/Biotech_Comm_final_3-5-08.pdf

Do you even movie night big bro? That never bodes well for the humans…

Think–Dollhouse. The 6th Day. Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Star Wars II. Blade Runner.
Ask yourself: Do Androids Dream Electric Sheep?

I know I know, a clone is not the same as an android… but would you want to eat it? wear it? drink its milk?

Pull the wool over your eyes, but ewwwwe, not stew!

We assure ewe, it is as safe for human consumption as the foods we eat every day: United States Department of Health and Human Services. “Animal Cloning” FDA. July 3, 2014. http://www.fda.gov/AnimalVeterinary/SafetyHealth/AnimalCloning/default.htm

We? Big bro, are you–

We assure ewe, it is as safe for human injection as the drugs we take every day: United States Department of Health and Human Services. “Genetically Engineered Animals” FDA. August 23, 2015. http://www.fda.gov/downloads/ForConsumers/ConsumerUpdates/UCM144055.pdf

But that’s a goat–

Sheep go to heaven. Goats go to hell…
Just kidding!
We assure you, it is as safe as for human society as the society we live in every day:
Michael Herndon. “Transcript of Media Briefing on FDA’s Release of a Final Guidance for Industry on the Regulation of Genetically-Engineered Animals” FDA. January 15, 2009. http://www.fda.gov/downloads/NewsEvents/Newsroom/MediaTranscripts/UCM121219.pdf

Recorded? I object–

Hush!
Reporters will be in a listen only mode until we open call for comments.

Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep,
and doesn’t know where to find them;
Make them a clone, and they’ll come home,
wagging their tails behind them.

She awoke with a start, her face full of wool– black wool.
Dolly the sheep, with a fleece thick as thieves…
Her eyes they must be deceiving.
It couldn’t be! Not Dolly, her Dolly?
She sure was a spittin’ image…
Three bags full she stuffed with wool
She had dreampt her sheep from lame to cool!

Little Bo-peep fell fast asleep,
and dreamt she heard them bleating;
but when she awoke, she found it a joke,
for they were still a-fleeting.

You’re a hack with a hook!
That filthy crook!
Big bro must’ve been deceiving.
Alternative facts
And fancy “science” reading
Dolly was gone
Before she ever knew she was sleeping

Then up she took her little crook,
determined for to find them;
she found them indeed, but it made her heart bleed,
for they’d left their tails behind them.

Tale of woe, woe is me
How could she let it be?
Tale by Tale
bye bye tails…

It happened one day, as Bo-peep did stray
into a meadow hard by,
there she espied their tails side by side,
all hung on a tree to dry.

bi-tale
buy small retail
these rhymes
are getting stale…

She heaved a sigh and wiped her eye,
and over the hillocks went rambling,
and tried what she could, as a shepherdess should,
to tell each clone from its lambkin…

But the real mystery
was little Bo-Peep
for that night she dreampt
of electric sheep.

 

Star-Crossed

Shoestring Surger still at large– with a capital L!

LargeCorp is at it again with another zany scheme for world domination! Will these dastardly villains ever call it quits? L-corp, a Trump subsidiary, has been hashtag confirmed by this reporter to be the one, the only, the king of sinful sots–

That’s right folks, complete with the sickly green tinge, the protruding potbelly of privilege, and the hands ten sizes too small. He’s a mean one, Mr. Grinch!

When all the Zu’s down in Zuville were snug in their beds, with dreams of good business in the year up ahead, or at least breaking even with a roof overhead…
L-Corp was stinking, stanking, and stunking, to the poor Zu’s dread.

Po zu-zu
Whatzit who woo
Wowza! H-h-howza?
Who’da woulda cooda
Shoulda coulda doo wop
Fritchet ditchet widget
“perfectly valid” my–
Patootie ood dee doo dee!

I told myself I wouldn’t get emotional, but boy, that really crumbles this reporter’s cookies. The Krampus is real kiddos– he’s switchin’ swipin’ and slingin’ your shoes, he’s surging the power at the stroke of midnight just as you were ’bout to break free from the friendzone, he’s getting between that thing that we have!

He’ll charge you $82.95 on your $49.99, for the very same power-lines from which your rainbow peace-sign high-top converses still hang by a tattered lace. His name is XFINITY Internet, he works for LargeCorp, and this reporter done got herself stuck on the wrong end of his twenty nine and a half foot pole.

As I wish upon my Daily Star
I wonder who these cooks think they are
Up above in their world to high
Like a venereal disease of the eye
This one for my nightly stars
Now I wonder where you are

A zu-zu for You-yoo!

Ode to Cake | | Listening to: Cake – “Open Book”

Sugar rush, baker’s blush
The original candy crush
Cocoa kisses, coo-coo crazy
Batter-up a yum yum
Birthday wishes, wedding dishes
congratulations to the misses
–or there’s plenty of other fishes!
Piece of cake, slice of heaven
Here’s to the servicemen from 7-11
Moissst and tenderly
Rich as I’ll ever be
Whip it up, whip it up baby
Whip those layers, back and forth
Please buy something from my store
Can’t resist, that or this
A desperate peddle, a decadent dish
Grumble Grumble that, chew it over with this–

dsc_0006

Preheat oven to 3500
Yields: 2 layers in 9-inch round cake pans

2 ½ cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
¾ cup cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt

Sift dry ingredients thoroughly in mixer bowl

1 cup coconut oil or butter
2 eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla
2 cups milk, water, or brewed coffee

Mix wet ingredients into dry, beat until combined
Batter will be thin (it will rise)
Pour evenly into prepped pans, yields TWO 9-inch rounds

Bake at 3500 for 25-30 minutes
Toothpick inserted in center of cake should come out clean
Remove from oven (caution: hot)
When pans are cool to touch, gently flip cake from pan to cool on rack or plate.

While cake bakes, mix your frosting in same mixer–

1 cup (2 sticks) butter or half coconut oil – softened, but not liquid
½ cup peanut butter
½ cup cocoa powder
2 teaspoons vanilla
4 tablespoons brewed coffee

Beat thoroughly

Confectioner’s Sugar (to taste)

Sift confectioner’s sugar mixing with addition
Need at least a couple cups, depending how sweet you want your frosting
Beat Thoroughly

Chill before frosting and serving– enjoy (or else!)

dsc_0004

Alas, for I cannot have my cake and eat it to, this photograph shall stand for Chocolate, Peanut Butter, and the Mocha Way in all its neutral pronoun glory

Save

Save

Save