TMGS Cookies

It’s the end of the month– if you’ve ever had to worry about such expenses as rent, utilities, insurance scams, food… you know that struggle. If this is a circumstance you are altogether unfamiliar with, then you can rest assured knowing I will not subject you to such plebeian delicacies as hotdog-waffles or peanut-butter-ramen. But as you savor those thoughts for a moment, I offer the perfect ‘starving artist’ cliche, and this here recipe for whatever ya got in your pantry cookies–

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preheat oven to 350 degrees

1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
1 cup sugar: ½ brown or coconut sugar, ½ cane sugar
¼ cup cocoa, or a dash of cinnamon + flour

sift dry ingredients

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1 stick butter (softened) or ½ cup oil
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 teaspoons milk, water, coffee, or liquor

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¼ cup peanut butter and/or maple syrup
chocolate chips, raisins, nuts, and/or quick oats
use ’em if ya got ’em

mash it all up into a firm dough

use a pasty tool, potato masher, couple of forks, or your bare hands
add water/milk/coffee if too dry
add flour if too wet

roll dough in balls
pretty much any size works
space evenly on cookie sheet
I also rolled them in cinnamon sugar

bake 10-15 minutes at 350 degrees
cook slightly longer for larger cookies
less if you want softer cookies

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Let sit a few minutes while the cookies firm up
eat or set cookies aside to use the sheet for another batch

I’ve done several variations of this, from plain chocolate cookies to a breakfast bar loaded with too much good stuff, this recipe hasn’t failed me yet. Even with a barren wasteland of a pantry, I still managed to scrape these together for a potluck in a pinch.

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Pigs in a Blanket

On a cold January night like this one, it is important to remember that your little piggies could be screaming brr brr brrrrr all night long. Bring them in from the cold, wrap them up good and toasty with Zu-Zu Lee’s recipe for Pigs in a Blanket. A classic childhood favorite done cheap, from scratch–

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Preheat oven to 400°
Bake 20-25 minutes

2 cups all-purpose flour
season to taste
1 tablespoon sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons butter (cubed)
1 cup bacon bits, onions, garlic (optional)
⅔ cup milk
1 tablespoon white vinegar

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For biscuits, nothing beats buttermilk.
But contrary to what the name may lead you to believe… you cannot just whisk some butter into your milk and presto, butter-milk.

You can, however, whisk some vinegar into your milk.

Buttermilk is acidic, this reacts with the baking soda, releasing air-bubbles in the dough during cooking.
Air rises through the dough, and that’s how breads get fluffy.

For this recipe, we use more common household ingredients:
vinegar for an acid, and regular milk for a liquid.

Measure ⅔ cup milk
Add 1 tablespoon white vinegar
Let sit for about 5 minutes

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nice crispy bacon, saved some for you Mr. Frodo…

While your buttermilk substitute sets, prepare the bacon.
You will want it crispy for shredding into bits.

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In a mixing bowl, sift together your dry ingredients:

2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt

Season to taste
If you want to spice up your life a bit, add it here.
I skipped the seasoning step, but these biscuits come loaded with:

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If including this step, finely chop onions, garlic and/or bacon into roughly 1 cup yummy bits.

It was easier for me to shred the bacon by hand and let the puppy lick them clean… whatever works for you.

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Cube 4 tablespoons butter

Toss butter cubes and yummy bits with dry ingredients until coated.
Mash with a pastry tool or potato masher until crumbly.

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Add your buttermilk substitute.
Stir well– it will thicken into a ball of dough.

Let sit for a few minutes to rise.
Clean the dishes. Cue hipster food photoshoot–

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Pat or roll your dough out flat,
cut into rectangular sections.

Roll your pigs up in their blankets with closures tucked underneath.
Pop in the oven to bake for 20-25 minutes

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Hot diggity-dogs!

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Pizza Waffles

Listening to: Do You Like Waffles? by Parry Gripp

Zu-Zu Lee on location in this domestic American kitchen with a special edition of the Monday Mun-Cheeze!

We are seeing here the elusive Pizza Waffle in its natural environment. Crikey! What a beauty this is mates:

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Smothered in marinara,
oozing with mozzarella,
peppered with -ronis…
these majestic creatures grace our world for but an instant before embarking on their journey to the great stomach pit of mine.

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For a Daily Star exclusive, this reporter got up close and personal with not one, but TWO– that’s right folks, TWIN Pizza Waffles, in their infancy:

A rare breed, the Snausage & Onion Pizza Waffle packs on twice the weight, an extra cheesy exo-waffleton, and a sense of humor.

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Doot do do do– can’t wait to get a mouth full!

How-To, Recipes, and munch munch more
— coming soon to Life Is Yum

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